Are Indian MEN Mama’s boys?
Are Indian men mamma’s boys? I honestly don’t believe this TAG is right for the boys who love and care for their mothers.
Our culture is far different from a western culture where kids just leave their homes as soon as they become adults. I am not saying that their bonding with mothers is in any way different or less. It all depends on your families and how you were brought up in your childhood years. In a country like India where at least three generations live under one roof and are bonded tightly to each other, we can’t blame our boys for being attached to their families or mothers.
Many families are not financially well but still their emotional bonding is very strong because adversity brings them closer. IN a typical Indian family, a father can be abusive, or an uncle can be an alcoholic but when it comes to the mom she is always there for her son and acts as a barrier between her son and anyone who wants to hurt him. She is there to help, be it financially or emotionally.
Now one question which is consistently asked: “Why are Indian mothers so possessive towards their sons”. I believe there are always some reasons behind anything we do. In most of our households, we have always seen dictating fathers, controlling husbands, etc. Now when a son is born, he is the sole possession of a mother. He is her one and only prized possession. The most precious one.
Since a son is born he needs a mother for all his needs like food, managing clothes, school bag, etc. Slowly as he grows up, all his requirements, be it small or big are taken care of by his mother. Even so many times she fights with his father for him. The bond grows with time and a mother-son relationship gets stronger.
Once they are full-fledged adults and out on their own, the dynamic change, to the point that either parent is seen as an equal. Sons often look for a girlfriend that is a lot like their mother. I don’t think it is a concious act on their part. It just happens.
I agree that we desi moms are very much concerned about little things such as “has he eaten his food yet”, “is he eating properly”? So many times, we are laughed at for this. Like my son told me that when his friend said “I am feeling hungry and have not eaten good food for long”, I told him to go and grab a Punjabi mamma and she will stuff him with food lovingly.” Jokes apart, it’s true for desi moms actually.
After so many years of pampering and all the care, when a boy becomes a man it’s a different world for him. If he has not learnt to be independent. So this is also a mom’s duty to help her son grow as a man, who can take care of everything independently in his life. Be it cooking a few dishes and taking care of his stuff himself. Learning these small things will immensely help him in managing the next part of his life.
After marriage, men cannot behave with their wives as they did with their mother. Most of them must be in a loving-shouting relationship with their mom. Am I wrong? You can shout at your mom for small things like where is my socks mamma… I am not hungry mom why are you insisting me to eat, and so many other things where you shout on your dear mamma knowing that she is right. And the beauty of this relation is she still smiles at you and helps you finding your socks or small stuff.
But when you come home late after having a couple of drinks with friends and you dare to shout at your wife, be ready for the consequences!! You have to learn to behave like both of you are partners not parent-kid. So grow up man.
However, men who were always being taken care of ,now feel that life is different from what it was. As we have heard that there is a small child hidden in every man. This is true to a certain extent. That is the reason most boys want a wife resembling their mom in terms of taking care of them.
So, is it harmful for boys to be close to their mom? Not at all. The man who cares for his mom cares for his wife and daughter as well. Because he knows how emotional a woman can be. He will be equally caring for other female relations also as he has learnt to be a soft person, not a MAN who cannot cry.
The truth is for so many years from birth to adulthood a child is in the care and protection of a mother, who is always there for every need. How is it possible not to bond with her? It is the same for daughters as well. They also keep constantly talking to their mothers about small things happening in their lives. In my opinion be it girls or boys both are supposed to bond with their mothers because, since their birth, mom was the selfless protector and provider for them. It’s very much natural for both …boys and girls…to be attached to mothers. Why do we call men mamma’s boy? Girls are also mamma’s girls.
And so back to my point on “not believing this TAG” of Mama’s Boy. There is no such thing as a mama’s boy…because each and every one of us is a mama’s child.
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