IS GETTING BACK TO AN EX RIGHT OR WRONG

When a relationship ends, there usually comes a time when you question your decision. You ask yourself, “should I have given it another try?”

A tweet was circulating on meme pages recently that said, “if you’re not dating to marry, you’re dating to break up. Let that sink in.” 

If we are not intending to marry that person, this is perhaps true. However, for those of us who end up in a marriage which ends in a break-up, its a different matter.

My question is should you try to get back to your ex?. There are so many success stories about it.

For example, there are many celebrity couples who broke up and got back together over the years. Not all of them worked out (while they gave it their best shot) and many others ended up making their love last.

To quote a few examples, Justine Timberlake and Jessica Bieber, Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard, Kate Middleton and Prince William, Cardi B and Offset, Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin to name a few.

I know many of you are also struggling with the issue already. I would like to mention that the coronavirus pandemic of 2020 has been a time during which scores of people (quarantined and self-isolating) reconnected with their ‘exes’.

The scenario and thought process has changed and perhaps relatedly, exes around the world have been coming out”, sending texts or emails to their previous time partners. In normal times, the act of initiating contact with an ex-partner was unspoken of and seldom done. But in today’s extraordinary circumstances the hesitation seems to have been suspended.

Next question is, should you try to rekindle the relationship or look for a new partner?

I think everyone who is giving a second thought to get back to an EX should keep a few points in mind.

First, what was the reason for the breakup? If the reason you two broke-up is no longer a problem, then go for it.

You both are on the same page now. Sometimes, when you are dating you realise that priorities in your lives are different. For example, it could be that you didn’t want kids and your partner did. However, people change with time and so do our desires and limitations. If both of you want the same things in life now, why not give it another shot!

Second, you are more experienced now. As we grow older, we get wiser with experiences we gather along the way. Moreover, you may have had other relationships during this time which perhaps taught you a few valuable lessons. That may make your prior relationship with your EX look like the best thing that ever happened to you!

Third, you may still be in love with your EX. If you realised that life is not worth living without each other, there is no point in suffering. After a long period of time if both of you are not being able to get over each other it is better to give your relationship another chance.

Fourth, sometimes LDR (long-distance relationship) also result in a break-up. If you are in the same city now considering getting back is a good idea.

The main thing to keep in your mind is, if he was abusive in a relationship (any type of abuse) don’t give it a second thought ever.”There is this story that(says) if you toss a frog into a pot of boiling water, it will scramble to get out,” Benton explains.”But if you put the frog in while the water is still cold-and slowly raise the temperature-the frog will (stay)until it is boiled to death. The same kind of things happens in relationships.

Abuse of any kind is complicated and it can be difficult to identify. This is especially true for emotional abuse. Physical abuse has evidence of violence but emotionally abusive relations can involve toxic mind games. So getting again in trouble is not advised.

The moral of the story? There is not anything right or wrong when it comes to relationships. Break-ups happen and they are survivable over time with help. They are not the end of the world, only the end of the relationship. Winning your ex back is not hard, the hard part is keeping them.

Give your luck a chance and see what it has in store for you.

None of the blogs or opinions expressed within are meant as advice to you or anybody else on any matter, including but not limited to, personal finance, health, or other matters of life. If you need advice, speak to a professional!

Published by Anita Vij

A caring mother of 2. A loving wife. An aspiring individual who wishes to share her life-long learnings with the rest of the world.

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