Keepers of life

Do you want a long term relationship?

              The behaviour of successful long term partners

We are living in a time where everything in our life is unpredictable. If we look  20 years back, it was much better and most of us were at peace with our lives. On the contrary, today we are living in a time where everything looms over us. Any time we can lose our job, our partner, our travel plans. We cant even plan the education of our children in this pandemic time as lockdowns are imposed because of increased susceptibility to the virus.

However when there is no guarantee for anything at least relationships are expected to stand by in these hard times. People seeking long term relations have failed despite sincere and intense efforts. They have gone through every phase of finding the right partner, and read relationship advice books. Yet they have not been successful in maintaining it long term.

The reason is most relationship advice books are focused on the popular traits and behaviours people think will ensure success in having long term relationships. They have ignored many other aspects which are the main contributor to long-lasting relations with anyone.

 When you create a successful relationship with someone, filled with joyful and meaningful experience. You never like to lose those people. I support these people as they exhibit a set of beliefs, actions and ideas that keep relationships thriving through good or bad times in life. 

 These people are called keepers …doesn’t matter man or woman.

In simple words, a keeper is someone who isn’t afraid of what comes after the honeymoon period, someone who understands their partner and is willing to deal with the ups and downs in a relationship, someone with whom one can share anything and everything without the fear of being judged and who actively wants to work on the relationship.

From my experience, I would like to mention a few traits of keepers (people successful in long-term relationships)

They are always self-critical. Keppers know how love works and they are not afraid of improving themselves to win the heart of their partner.

Alongside their willingness to admit their faults, they are open to compromise whenever possible. They are confident of their contribution. They are a combination of strength and flexibility which is respected by their partners.

Keepers honour and respect their partners. They blend into the rhythm of their partners and help them in everything …be it spring cleaning or gardening, they thrive in their own way.

Keepers see humour as an essential part of their relationship. Everyone knows laughter is the best medicine. People who find the humour in life maintain it as a perspective of life that keeps them going.

Keepers like to store memories. Life is so hard at times and tragedies can fill a person with grief and resentment. While facing such times memories are a collection of our good times which they can fall back to. Remembering those experiences in hard times makes everyone feel better.

Keepers are honest themselves and they like to choose partners with the same trait.

They deeply appreciate when others are honest with them and show love and care.

Keepers value others as much as they value themselves. They keep their relationships alive as they know that nothing comes with a guarantee. Be it love or relationships. They make others feel special as if they were the only person who existed.

Men and women are keepers in the same way. They both commit, stick together and make their relationship last long. In my opinion, you will get what you put into a relationship. Be it someone with the same mindset friends or a life partner.

Hence if you find someone who shares your core values and outlook on life. Someone who approaches problems the same way as you do. And it’s hard to explain but someone who vibrates at the same frequency as you do. Stick to them.

 Therefore if you are a keeper  find someone whose energy matches you and they respond in the same manner in the same situation. You might be best friends or life partners. If you can find all this in a person you should implicitly get them and make your life happy.

But always remember the quote by Mandy Hale, ” The only keeper of your happiness is you. Stop giving people the power to control your smile, your worth and your attitude.” 

None of the blogs or opinions expressed within is meant as advice to you or anybody else on any matter, including but not limited to, personal finance, health, or other matters of life. If you need advice, speak to a professional!

Published by Anita Vij

A caring mother of 2. A loving wife. An aspiring individual who wishes to share her life-long learnings with the rest of the world.

31 thoughts on “Keepers of life

    1. Thanks Judietakali, for reading and commenting on this post. Yes, In this world everything is imperfect actually. So if we will try to search for anything which is perfect, be it humans or anything else, it will be almost impossible to find it. Love has it’s own imperfections, but for getting perfect love from our partner we also need to improve a few things in ourselves. After doing that we can expect another person to be perfect for us…not for everybody.😇😃

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I do agree. Making ourselves better and happier removes the pressure on what we think love should give us, and makes us love better in turn too.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Well, we think the best way for a longterm relationship is not wanting it. All people we know, including us, who have a happy longterm relationship weren’t keen getting one. Another question is do we really need a longterm relationship. We are privileged to live in times in which everything is changing faster and faster and so do the chances. Why longing for stability? Go with the flow seem to us much wiser.
    Keep well
    The Fab Four of Cley
    🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a lot for sharing your views Klausbernd. Yes, you are right that we didn’t think about it but it just happened that we got a good partner and so we are in a long-term relationship.
      It’s a personal choice what we actually want. Hence if you are not interested in a long-term relationship, that’s fine too. Things are changing but so is instability. For me, stability is an important element of a stable life.
      I respect your views. 😄😄

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Anita
        I can see your point. But I am different. In my age now stability often ends in rigidity. I love changes maybe because I was professor and my students kept me changing all the time. They were constantly challenging me. Now I am retired and I have to watch not to become too established in my comfortable life.
        All the best
        Klausbernd 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hi Klausbernd, I appreciate your views. Maybe your life has taught you something different than mine. We all learn some lessons from the journey of our life and according to those lessons, we decide what we need and what is good for us. I agree that change is the spice of life.
        You are right…if we get comfortable in life we just forget how to accept challenges. It is good to keep ourselves going that we embrace every change which comes our way. Even retirement is not a time to just sit idle. It’s the actual time when you can find a new you.
        My best regards

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Hence if you find someone who shares your core values and outlook on life. Someone who approaches problems the same way as you do. And it’s hard to explain but someone who vibrates at the same frequency as you do. Stick to them.
    This is valid and most important point.
    You have extra ordinary intelligence. You are enlightened. so your lines are very powerful.
    Wonderful post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s very difficult to find like minded people. Even finding friends with same interests and intellect is not easy. If we are talking about life partner then it becomes more difficult.
      Thank you for your nice words. I always look forward to your comments and views.😊😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are absolutely right.
        Life partner may have different opinion. Mostly different mindset between them. So they do not resonate, though they spend life together.
        This is not good for mankind.
        If both have same mindset then the outputs will be unique.
        But what to do?
        Getting life partner, whether by love or by selections, it is a case of probability. May be good or may not be good.
        Your post is amazing.
        Meaningful in today’s world.
        Take care always.
        Regards 🙏

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Being compatible in every aspect of life is actually very difficult. Life partners can be poles apart in a few things but if they can cooperate and maintain an understanding, then life gets smooth. So a few things which don’t match is ok and natural but if difference of opinion is in everything then it gets difficult and may be thats the time when people get divorced and choose different paths. Thank you for the discussion.😊😊

        Liked by 1 person

  3. We need keepers and we have by the grace of God.
    You are now my keeper.
    We resonate in most of the points.
    I didn’t find any difference of opinion regarding any subject so far published by you.
    I am thankful to you ☺️🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are right. Even friends can be keepers for life because everyone needs them for moral support and for discussing things. If there are true friends it’s a blessing from the God. We share our point of view on many subjects here. That’s how we come to know about people. Thank you.🙏🏻😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Please keep on writing on different aspects.
        You have an extraordinary talent, intelligence that you reflect here in this world of Blog.
        We, the readers will learn and enjoy too.
        Regards 😊🙏


      2. Thank you, Arun Ji, for understanding the depth of these writings. All these nice comments bring a smile on my face and encourage me to write at the same time. 😊😊


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