Life-A Short Story#11

​​The Turning Point In My Life

A turning point happens when something changes direction, and it causes us to make a choice. It’s the moment we decide that we need to make a shift and respond differently. It could be that what was happening before is no longer what we want to happen in the future.

But it doesn’t happen always by our choice. Sometimes we realize we are going along our merry way and gradually realize we have reached a crossroads. 

 I was in my second year of B.COM when my family found out about my kundali dosha. I was “Manglik.” This is considered to be inauspicious in Punjabis. A person born under the influence of Mars (Mangala) as per Hindu astrology is said to have “Mangala dosha” (“mars defect”); such a person is called a Mangalik (or Manglik). According to superstition, the marriage between a Manglik and a non-Manglik is disastrous.

That kundali dosha was the reason for my early marriage.

Individuals who have faith in this notion feel that a Manglik individual will cause their non-Manglik mate’s initial passing. It is a norm that a Manglik should marry a Manglik or non-manglik should marry a non-mangalik. If there happens to be a situation of Manglik getting engaged with a non-manglik, there are few rituals by which a Manglik can be removed from this thing.

To forestall this calamity, the individual might be hitched to a tree, (for example, a banana or peepal, a creature, or a lifeless thing). This counterfeit marriage custom has various names relying upon the “companion” utilized in the service; for instance, if the individual is hitched to a dirt pot (Kumbha), the function is designated “Kumbh-vivah” (“wedding with a pot”). 

It is accepted that all the abhorrent impacts coming about because of the Mangal Dosha come to pass for on the false “life partner”: the individual is hence liberated from the results of being a Manglik, and their ensuing union with a human is relied upon to be a cheerful one. 

Among the effects of Mangal Dosha, one is true that it can delay marriage. But, Mars does not act in isolation. Some other planet must be acting as the sole delayer, whereas Mars may be aggravating the issue.

As my father was a govt employee, he wanted to fulfill his responsibilities in time and he was not ready for my delayed marriage due to Manglik dosha in my kundali, The family astrologer told him that if they will not get me married within one year then it will be delayed for another 10 years. He almost got panicked by this thought and immediately decided to get me married as soon as possible.

I was asked just for formality and I knew that there will be no point in refusing marriage. I knew my wishes didn’t matter. Therefore it was decided that they will start searching for a groom for me and as soon as they will find a suitable match they will get me married. 

This was a huge decision to make and my father already has decided on my early marriage. My Nani tried to make me understand the benefits of getting married at an early age. She said” If you marry at an early age, the young mind is easier to adaptability and sustenance. As the mind grows old, it tends to become more habituated to firmness in the decision-making process, thus leaving fewer possibilities for the couples to compromise on situations”. 

“For women, early marriage is safer in terms of pregnancy. your responsibilities as a parent and domestic partner will increase with time. As you are young and have more time. Thus, it will make you even more responsible individuals. For this reason, it will provide more time for you to learn the household works and make you responsible daughter-in-law and wife as well.” I respected my Nani very much and I agreed with what she explained to me.

All my friends were shocked to know about my marriage and I myself was not understanding what were my feelings. Maybe I was happy or maybe I was confused. 

The thought of getting freedom after my marriage was one thing that gave me happiness. But leaving my college and all my friends suddenly gave me goosebumps. I didn’t understand the complexities of life at that age. New clothes, jewelry, and material things were a great attraction at that time but how to adjust to a new house and manage a household was just unthinkable for me.

I had no baggage as I was very young and didn’t have any affairs.

Starting a new life with someone was not difficult for me with a clean mind.

Today I can say that young people can develop together, grow together, explore each other’s character and discover personalities, etc. Early marriage can be a great path for both partners who have a unique chance to grow from youth into adulthood side by side. But back then I was just following what my elders wanted me to do.

I didn’t have any expectations from my would-be spouse. One of the major benefits of early marriage is that the two people have no major expectations. This is their new experience. They build their family life brick by brick, they don’t have years of hope, ups, and downs, understanding of what the perfect marriage is, etc. 

Now with my personal experience, I can understand that two young people can get similar habits. This is much better when two sweethearts influence each other and share similar interests instead of one person trying to change the habits of the other, which is commonly seen in most couples.

Sometimes I feel that I have lived two lives in one life span. Getting married early and fulfilling all my responsibilities in time gave me the opportunity to live a second innings in my life. In the first inning, I was very young, and in the second inning, I am still young and can enjoy my life. 

But this is my point of view as a mature woman, when I was going through this phase, It was not that easy. A life full of challenges was waiting for me. Throughout my life, I have faced many challenges and obstacles that stood in my way. No matter the magnitude or even if there seemed to be no way possible, I always try and find a way. Every challenge that I have faced always required my maximum effort and was followed by success or failure.

Unawareness is a blessing sometimes. I admit to not being very aware maybe I was a baby in this awareness field but things were so much better when I was totally unaware, I didn’t know about the potential inside me. I was young and innocent, not thinking about the complexities of life and not knowing much about the outside world helped me in a way. I  was happy and content with my life and there was no stress.

I have always been of a compromising nature. I accept my circumstances happily when I know that I can’t change them. I accepted what my elders said and it was going to be the beginning of a new chapter in my life.