Living with adult children

How to cope with the situation when things change suddenly

Coping with adult children was never easy. In fact, parenting is more difficult when they are adults.  Parent’s hearts and minds are always involved in their children no matter how old they are. But staying with them is a different challenge altogether.😇

A Pew Research Center poll from July 2020 found that around1 in 10 adults ages 18 to 29 said they moved in because of the outbreak. What may have seemed like a temporary situation last year now feels a lot more permanent, which doesn’t make the situation any easier.

Laura Murray, PhD, a senior scientist in the department of mental health at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, said that a number of stressful conditions right now, including the coronavirus pandemic, can lead to more tension. Adding the stress of moving back home after being away at college or finding independence in early adulthood can exacerbate those issues.

During the covid 19 pandemic, many college students, young adults and some not so young adults have moved back in with their parents. Just to be together in hard times and be there for each other in case of any crisis situation. In the starting everyone was happy but things started to get a bit tense of late.

Finding ways to handle these minor tension is not that difficult if there is a strong bond between the family members.

How to stay close and still love each other by developing a healthy and friendly relation

As we age our children also grow as mature men or women. They have their own opinions and choices. So as our kids mature, our relationship with them needs to mature as well.

We all know that friendship is the basis of every relationship. The challenge is to find a common ground without overstepping the comfortable boundaries between parents and mature children.

The issues become how much time to spend together and how to spend it, how much information to share and about what, which battles to fight and when to turn the other cheek, what advice to give and when silence is golden.

All parents want good relations with their kids but they are often tempted to give unsolicited advice, sometimes to protect them from harm-like reminding them to pay their insurance. And grown kids may be like frustrating friends who will not even reply. So behaving as equals fail here.

A few rules if followed properly can nurture this friendship in long run:

SET  RESPECTFUL BOUNDARIES

For emerging adults, keeping a privacy buffer is a very crucial part of their separate identity, suddenly they are mostly busy with long chats on phone and parents feel hurt as they feel that kids are pulling back from them. But giving them some space will be appropriate and not take it personally.😎

NOT GIVING UNSOLICITED ADVICE

Parents may always struggle with the “I need to fix it” mentality, but if they quickly and often jump into solving their problems grown-up kids will never learn how to use their ability to solve problems in their lives. So unless and until there is not some serious issue, better to keep silent and just observe the situation.😇

ENJOYING TOGETHER

When kids were young, family time was inevitable but now as they are mature and cooking all the burners grown-ups, we have to make the time available productive. Watching a movie together or playing cards can do the trick.

LOVE AND RESPECT FOR THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS

It is very important to give love, care and respect to their spouses also as it is the pillar of a strong family to be together with all members of the family. It will increase affection in the family manyfold. Our own kids are always ours but the actual pleasure we get when we are loved by their spouses as well.

However, striking balance and an understanding is the key to any successful relationship. Maybe this is the golden opportunity to be with your family which in a normal situation wouldn’t be possible. So enjoy the time together and create unforgettable memories for life.😊😊

None of the blogs or opinions expressed within are meant as advice to you or anybody else on any matter, including but not limited to, personal finance, health, or other matters of life. If you need advice, speak to a professional!

Published by Anita Vij

A caring mother of 2. A loving wife. An aspiring individual who wishes to share her life-long learnings with the rest of the world.

12 thoughts on “Living with adult children

  1. My son and his blended family of five moved in with us for five years from 2013-2018 and we all flunked the experience. One of the grandchildren is still with us. I recommend the arrangement only as a last resort which it was for us!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you Geoff for commenting.😊 This topic is very relevant in today’s scenario. I think parents and kids both can benefit from the arrangement if it works well. If not fine…we can’t be judgemental. Nuclear families are increasing nowadays but different generations living under one roof is also an experience( can be good or bad😇)).

    Like

  3. So wonderfully penned down I wish my hubby cud understand that as kids grow they need space n not unwanted advice at every step
    I am
    Afraid now the kids have stopped respecting him n see him as more of advise machine n started avoiding him

    Liked by 1 person

  4. 홀덤Hi! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any problems with hackers?
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